You Don’t Even Love Me

Posted by: minniemama on: October 21, 2010

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The other day I was on the phone with my girlfriend when she told me her husband believe she doesn’t even love him. Apparently, he casually blurted it out during a heated moment and it really struck a nerve with her. Of course she loves her husband! But does he really believe she doesn’t? She’s a young Mama like myself and often times the days just get so hectic and monotonous, they all blur together.

Anyways, to make a long story short since that conversation my poor friend has been feeling really badly about her husband’s comments. She never wanted him to feel like that and she totally loves him. She just gets busy, tired, and sometimes even resentful of their different roles — he works a lot, but in his spare time has a lot of “down” time while she’s running around to fix dinner, take care of their baby, do laundry, etc. all after she’s worked a FT job too. But the bottom line is she does love him.

After hanging up the phone with my friend, I started thinking about my own husband, our marriage, and our family. Do I take the time to properly show him I love him? I don’t mean with the obvious quick “love you. See you later” as I dart off to work, but actually show him like with little gestures. And then I realized that I probably don’t. Not as much as I should at least. Our 9 year wedding anniversary came and went last week. I was a bad wife who didn’t buy a card or a present for my husband. Yes, he has everything under the sun and didn’t need a present, but a card would’ve been nice. He bought me beautiful charms for my Pandora bracelet and a Coach bag that I wasn’t too appreciative of. So not cool of me!

So I’ve decided that I need to make things right and pay a little more attention to our marriage so my husband won’t feel like my poor friend’s. I could say we will reconnect on our next vacation, but shouldn’t happy couples always stay connected? I think so. My plan is simple and thoughtful. From here on out we will make a pact to go out on a “date” once a month – doesn’t have to be dinner or even in the evening, we’ll just get out of the house once a month to spend a few hours together. Just the two of us spending time as a couple without being Mama and Daddy. I always put so much attention on the needs and wants of my beautiful child, but I also need to learn to spend a little extra time on myself and also my marriage. I think we all do…