The Supermarket Flyer
Posted February 21, 2010on:
I will admit that Minnie Mama has always been a very cautious driver. Some might argue that I drive like an old lady, but I prefer to say I am cautious! So once you combine my cautious driving skills with my OCD mannerism you have yourself a very fun driving experience.
Now before I start this story, let’s set the mood. It’s early Monday morning at 3am and I wake up from a dead sleep with one thought on my mind. OMG I didn’t get my supermarket flyer for Market Basket! Yes, these are the exciting thoughts that fly around in my Mama brain nowadays. No more thoughts of flashy new shoes or cute handbags. I am all about supermarket specials. Wow, I am so cool, huh?!
You see my Sunday morning routine consists of clipping coupons and sorting through supermarket flyers while Isabella eats her breakfast. Yes, I do this every Sunday morning at 9am. I am routine and I like it, what can I say!? But this week our routine was thrown way off as it was Valentine’s Day and we went to brunch. It was a delicious meal and so nice to spend special time w/ Isabella, hubby, and Fairy Godmother, but my poor routine was put on the back burner.
And so in the early morning hours it dawned on me that I never did sort through my flyers. I clipped coupons during Isabella’s nap, but never got to the supermarket specials. I immediately jumped out of bed and raced to the back porch to sort aimlessly through the recycling bin to find my flyer. Yes, this technically could’ve waited till the morning, but if you know me then you’ll understand the urgency — I just wouldn’t be able to sleep until this task was completed.
However, the flyers were not there! Was it because of the holiday weekend? Was someone playing a cruel joke on me? Oh the possibilities were endless, but one thing was a definite — Minnie Mama would have to drive 20 minutes out of her way tomorrow to obtain this flyer. Again, I realize this sounds a bit crazy, but this particular supermarket doesn’t have an online website and I save a ton of $$ by scoping out the sales in advance.
The following morning I drove the hubby to work and then Isabella and I sat off on our adventure to obtain the missing supermarket flyer. Now back to my OCDness — we literally grocery shop every Saturday morning at the same time and depart from the same location, my house. And so setting out for the grocery store from a different location and on a different day, completely put me out of my element. So much that I honestly wasn’t sure if I knew how to get there as I did need to take a different highway.
After getting off on several wrong exits, I was able to find my exit and proceeded on my way. Until I realized I should’ve taken a right at the exit ramp instead of the left — again, in my defense I was used to coming from the opposite direction. No big deal though, I had this totally under control. I saw a little fruit market and I cautiously turned into it w/ my directional on and planned to turn around there.
But there she was. This crunchy, organic shopping, reusable bag toting, hippie chick frantically waving her arms and yelling. Yelling at me! WTF?! I roll down my window and ask her what the problem is and she proceeds to scream at me. I can’t figure out if she’s yelling because I am driving a gas guzzling car while she’s driving a hybrid the size of a shoebox? Or perhaps she’s mad that I pollute the environment with my hair spray while she clearly hasn’t even introduced her hair to a brush let alone hair products? No, no, she must be mad because I am wearing make-up (not tested on animals!) and she’s against anything slightly feminine. I made this assumption based on her trendy Birkenstocks and Eddie Bauer looking outfit. Don’t say I am mean, you KNOW the type of lady I am talking about! 🙂
Oh wait, she’s yelling at me because I am turning down the wrong way in a one way parking lot. Oops, my bad! Maybe she wasn’t so awful and she was just trying to be nice? Well, now I feel like a total biatch for thinking those thoughts. No, no, I take it back — she just had the audacity to call me a dumb blonde bitch and tell me to turn in my license! Seriously lady?! There is no sign stating this is a one way and truthfully I am not even sure if it was. But clearly she shops here often so I took her word for it and apologized while trying to explain that I was slightly lost and out of sorts. Yeah, that wasn’t a good enough reason for the crunchy parking lot patrol because she proceeded to carry on this heated debate all the while my kid is in the backseat singing her heart out to Lion King’s soundtrack and I just want to get my freakin’ grocery store flyer!
Now I am a bit flustered and definitely PO’d so I bid adieu to this pleasant lady and say screw the world, screw my old lady driving, and screw this parking lot — I am going out the wrong way and they can all kiss my chicken butt (Isabella’s new word).
And so we leave the parking lot and find our destination, the supermarket. The supermarket that allows you to go both in and out of it. The supermarket that doesn’t have anyone screaming at me. And the supermarket that thankfully had a whole stack of flyers for me, even though I did just need one.
And by the way — my best friend actually had two of these flyers. One was sent to her house in the mail and the other was in her Sunday paper. If only I called her first! But on the plus side, it was a great adventure and exercise in Minnie Mama breaking out of her routine!