Working Mommy’s Guilt
Posted June 10, 2010on:
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Guilt. It’s something that we all can relate too especially once we become a Mama. The guilt just multiplies if you work outside of the home, trust me.
So there I was last night, sitting amongst a whole team of high profiled and intelligent business women enjoying dinner and drinks at a swanky French restaurant in Boston. Sounds like a fun evening, right? Sure, it would have been if I wasn’t filled to my eyeballs in working Mommy’s guilt.
The hubby made arrangements to pick her up from school and I left specific directions on what to make for dinner (frozen pizza, it’s easy and quick). I knew they’d be fine together as helloooo it’s her Daddy, but still I couldn’t help but wonder if she was upset without me or giving him a hard time.
So as I sat there with all of these gorgeous and brilliant company executives laughing and socializing with wine flowing quite freely throughout the table, all I could think about was Isabella.
Our 6:30 dinner reservations quickly turned into us not ordering dinner till nearly 8pm and I knew the night was taking a turn for the worse. I gracefully tried to sneak out before dessert explaining that I had to get home to Isabella, but they all responded with don’t worry, it’s your night off and you deserve a break. Have some wine and unwind. My night off? Have some wine and unwind? Seriously? You see, the majority of these ladies either have not had children yet and those who do have children are grown so they clearly don’t remember how hard this balancing act can be. Sigh… Luckily one of my co-workers totally understands where I am coming from and she totally had my back — she helped me w/ making my escape. Thank god for my partner in crime!
Finally I made a polite exit and managed to burst through my front door by 10pm. Isabella was still awake, but she was happy so that’s all that matters to me. And she was excitedly waiting for me in her Tinkerbell pj’s (so surprised Daddy got her ready for bed!) with a surprise – a perfect little charm that she picked out for my bracelet. And she also couldn’t wait to show me her surprises that Daddy let her pick out from the Disney store. Daddy and Isabella had a little bonding time which was nice for them and she even got to eat pizza in the living room while watching a movie — yeah she thought she was cool. And not that you want to know this, but Daddy said she had a major poopie diaper. Oh yeah, it was bad. And yes I was secretly laughing inside that he got stuck changing one! 🙂
Anyways, within 10 minutes of getting Isabella into her bed, she was asleep. I layed there in the dark holding my baby, smelling her hair which was a cross between the previous night’s bath and pizza from dinner, and kissing her soft cheeks, as she slept so peacefully. God, I missed that child so much all day long, but those few quiet moments of holding her made the day seem so much better. My night away from her was over now and there won’t be any more of those for a very long time.
Well, there’s talk about an overnight team retreat somewhere in New England, but that’s a whole other blog post. I hope my colleagues love kids and/or won’t miss me because there is noooo way in hell that I am leaving my child for an overnight trip!! No way, no how. Not gonna happen….