The Fish Killer
Posted September 17, 2010on:
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How do you tell a two year old their Mama’s a fish killer?! Okay so maybe killer is a bit harsh. It was honestly an accident. It wasn’t premeditated. It wasn’t done subconsciously, right?! Oh WTF?!
So here’s the background story… Over the long holiday weekend Isabella & I stayed at my mom’s house while the hubs was away for business. The hubs called and said he was bringing Isabella home goldfish as a surprise. I said ‘No way. Don’t do it!’ etc. I already take care of a toddler, 2 cats, and all the housework so I don’t want any more responsibility. I thought we reached a mutual decision and all was good. I was wrong obviously because we still became the proud owners of two damn ugly goldfish. Ugh!
Make a long story short, I was mad to put it nicely. Hubs was like whatever and told me to flush them before Isabella saw them. I couldn’t do that though. I didn’t like them, but I couldn’t kill them!! That’s just wrong. And so we kept them.
As predicted I took care of them – cleaned and added rocks to their bowl. Fed them. Cleaned up their spilled food for the times Isabella remembered she had fish and wanted to feed them. You get the idea.
One of us came up with the brilliant idea of donating them to Isabella’s school and her teacher said sure, but the little boss vetoed that idea and said they were hers. So much for that..
And then tonight it happened. Their bowl was so murky I could barely see them. I knew the water needed to be changed, but I dreaded doing it. The idea of catching them in the net to change their water freaked me out. I like to eat fish, not catch them as they flip about. Eek!
But it had to be done. I placed water in a bowl and let it sit for most of the night at room temp and then I did it. I caught them in the net and transferred them over while I dumped out the bowl & rinsed the rocks. I transferred them back in with that water and all was good. I showed Isabella her clean fish tank and she fed them. But something was wrong. Usually they freak out for the food and this time they didn’t. One was more active while the usual crazy one just kinda swam near the bottom. WTF?!
I watched them for a few and told the hubs I thought I killed them, but he told me all was good & not to worry as they were just adjusting to the clean water. Should I call the vet? Do vets take care of goldfish? Ugh. Maybe I was just paranoid. I went to bed.
At around midnight I woke up to pee and of course I had to check on the fish. They were dead and I killed them. They were floating lifelessly in the tank. Oh shit! I shook the tank, but there was nothing. I poked them with the net. I even dropped in food, but still nothing. God dammit, the freakin’ fish were dead!
I contemplated what to do next. How to dispose of the bodies? What to do with the evidence? I quickly decided on a burial at sea. And their tank, food, rocks, and net were discreetly discarded inside a Target bag in the trash. I covered all my basis. Except for the biggest one. The toddler. How do you tell a toddler that Mama killed her fish? Will she even remember the fish? Ugh, of course she will – this kid remembers everything!!! Seriously what do I tell Isabella when she asks to feed them?!
I never wanted those damn fish and now here I am sitting at the kitchen table in the middle of the night unable to sleep and filled with guilt. I am a fish killer…